I've Got A Disease }{ Gwen

[Nyx M Treassa]

Ever since that day… Maybe less than a week ago. She woke up with a hangover and a soreness between her legs that she couldn't quite comprehend as she lay on the floor of an empty, unused classroom. It was an unpleasant soreness that nagged at her senses even as she dragged herself into the shower to finally realize what had happened. Bloody, fucking hell, she'd done something very, very stupid. In the darkness of that empty hallway she sang a veela's tune and let a man touch her in a way she never, ever intended. As soon as she recalled the events of the previous night, she promptly located the nearest waste bowl and vomited out everything she had.

Ever since that day she barely ate a bite, never daring to test the queasiness in her stomach with more than bits of bread and nibbled, plain salads. Nyx also couldn't sleep and lay awake in her bed until the sun rose again or she was finally gifted with slumber. Fights were fought with a lack of enthusiasm to protect herself, and she'd taken to running like the figure of he-who-must-not-be-named was chasing at her back. Never before had Nyx felt this kind of gut wrenching guilt, internal panic, and crippling shame in all her life. There was no one she could talk to, no one that would listen (Izzy was still mad at her, and rightfully so) and her mind was buzzing like a beehive filled with angry wasps.

She was just so... Useless.

Nyx was so sure that she at least knew herself better than that, she promised herself no man would ever touch her. Not that they were horrific or anything, but they just weren't for her and she knew that. It hurt her, that she could betray herself so badly and ruin herself so properly. She'd kissed Diomedea, lost her best friend, had s-se... With a man, let herself down, AND her head just wouldn't stop going. All she found herself doing these days was running. Trying to outrun her thoughts, her mistakes, and her disasters. Around the grounds of the school like some Olympic sprinter, she was running at one speed and one speed only until she dropped: as fast as she could run. Sometimes around the grounds in a massive circle, other times straight towards the forbidden forest where she wanted to bust through and fight every monster in there until she was justified or dead.

She would always turn away at the last minute.

Why did she do it? Her mother trained her when she was really young how to access the veela's thrall in her voice; more so teaching her how to lock it away and never let it out. There was no judicial action that could be taken against a man who raped a Veela, she told Nyx that if she sang like that she was in danger, and there was NO WAY they could protect her. So why did she do it? Why did she hurt herself like this? Why was she so fucking stupid? Why did she hurt herself and in turn, hurt others?

Rage built up in her, flaring white hot and scalding in her system. She was so angry at herself, for all the things she did and did unintentionally, and for all the booze she drank and her stupid, STUPID MIND. "RAUGH!" Nyx snarled ferociously, her voice echoing in the clouds as her body followed through with an angry, impulsive movement. She was beyond exhausted, sweaty, and trembling with the exertion of her run, but she had enough strength in her body to land a solid punch to the stone arch of the entry to the school.

CRUNCH.

In the wake of her scream was the disgusting sound of a wet thud and the crunch of bone. The bones in her hand shattered upon impact, and the stone tore open the skin of her knuckles ruthlessly. Nyx let out an agonized scream and instantly cradled her broken appendage to her thin frame. White pain blinded her vision, and she scrambled clumsily to push open the door with her back. Nyx stumbled a few steps into the doorway before her legs gave out and she was left on the floor to curl up around her hand, too weak to get up.

[Gweneth Carlon]

It had been quite the brilliant morning. Dreams the night before were lovely, filled with- well...things that didn't quite need to be brought alight; breakfast had been wonderful, classes, though only two in number, had been swift and fairly easy going for a change, and then lunch! Well lunch was just brilliant in all aspects of the word. She'd met up with her friends, had lively conversation throughout the duration of their meal, then they all even spent a little extra time gabbing and carrying on when they were finished eating. All in all, thus far it had been quite a lovely day for Gweneth. She hadn't even run into anyone trying to break any rules or disobey any code of conduct!

That is, until she heard a pair of rather different, yet vocally similar screams.

The first scream had startled Gwen and caused her to cease any and all movement except for the rapid movement of her blond head (yes, she had decided strictly upon simple blond hair this morning,) as she tried to find the source of the noise. The second scream- this one more anguish like in nature- got her feet moving again and carried her unsurely in the direction of the front hall. Apparently her instincts were correct. There on the floor was what Gwen suspected to be the source of the sound disturbances. It was another girl, and one (from the looks of it) who was in more pain then just the physical sort. Though there would be time to decide that later and see (maybe) just what else could be wrong.

Right now, the Hufflepuff needed to assist the other girl, and that alone lead her swiftly to the crumpled and curled girl's side. "Hey, what happened?" It was no use asking "Are you alright?" because obviously that wasn't the case. "I need you to roll onto your back so that I can get a look at you-" she paused, and her eyes went concentrated, "Unless its your back that you hurt, then just...don't move." Her lower lip was drawn in between her teeth here. What was she supposed to do if it was something serious like the other girl's back? Would she have to just leave her here to go get help? That wasn't the best of ideas, especially if this had been some sort of attack- though by the looks of things, there was no struggle and it didn't seem evident that any fight had occurred.

A sound of annoyance left Gwen's lips at herself. Really, she was so helpless in a situation like this. What good would she do the Wizarding World as a Medi-Witch if she couldn't even figure out what to do with one witch who seemed more hurt then anyone she'd ever seen in her life? Really, she was hopeless..."Okay, um...maybe you should just tell me what happened?" Oh yes, that was much better..."Unless you can't speak for some reason or another. Ugh..." Hopeless indeed...

[Nyx M Treassa]

So useless, so useless, so useless, so STUPID, so worthless, so, so…! Despite her best effort, tears slipped down her bruised cheeks. The past week showed very vividly on Nyx’s body in bruises, a thin frame, and dark circles under bloodshot eyes. In summary, she looked and felt like shit. Add on emotional trauma and a very broken hand and you had a very tearful Nyx Treassa lying in the middle of the floor of the entry hall.

Despite the pain, she rocked quietly. No sobs or screams or groans of pain, just silence to let it bottle and brew inside of her. She deserved it, she was such a slut for doing Sebastian. For kissing Diomedea Rosier, and having dreams about her. Awful, disgusting dreams! She was so worthless; all she could do was play her music…

Her music. Oh Merlin, her hand! She couldn’t play her music if her hand was broken like this! A low, agonized groan left her with more tears. Now she really was a nothing! Her mind didn’t work, she let her friends down, she was a siren-song slut and she couldn’t EVEN PLAY HER MUSIC! She couldn’t live without her music, she needed to get up to the Hospital wing so Poppy could heal her. Oh Merlin, what if she didn’t heal her?! Nyx’s chest rose and fell rapidly with hyperventilation, her heart pounding harder, the blood pouring from her mangled hand…

Something tickled at the edge of her senses.

At first she didn’t notice it due to the panic attack she currently threw herself in, but some instructions were making their way through her brain. A pleasant voice was telling her to get on her back to get a look at her. Did Nyx want someone looking at her..? Her music, she had to have it… With a pained groan, Nyx slowly forced herself on the flat of her back. A tear-streaked face turned towards Gwen, and lost, glittery eyes looked up at her.

“M’hand…” Nyx whimpered. Forget all the bruises on her face, or the dark circles under her eyes. “I…” More tears fell from interesting, vivid green-blue eyes. Sniff. “M’such n’idjit… I broke mah..."

[Gweneth Carlon]

Well, apparently her instructions had done some good, which meant Gwen wasn't as hopeless as she had first feared. Maybe there was a glimmer of hope for her future in the medical field after all! Though, getting too excited for guess work wasn't the brightest of ideas. All of this, however, became thoughts of the past once vibrant blues met the bruises and pallor of the girl she could now see completely. All at once Gwen's expression faded from pleased with herself to horrified. "What in Merlin's name happened to you?!" The muttering about this girl's hand was the least of the blond's worries. This girl was in horrid shape. Granted, a broken- though it looked more shattered to be truthful...- hand was a huge deal, but there was more here then just broken and misplaced bones.

"You've not been eating." Gwen scolded, and immediately a disapproving yet concerned (how that was possible, there was no telling, but Gwen pulled it off regardless!) look over took her expression. "Or sleeping for that matter." she added and shook her head. "We need to get you upstairs to Madame Pomfrey," she continued, "Now, I'm going to help you sit up, then we'll go from there. Do you think you can stand at all?" Leave it to Gwen to become some sort of too-young-adult figure in a situation like this one. "I don't want to help you stand up if you're just going to fall back down. You'll end up more hurt that way, so I need to know one way or the other."

[Nyx M Treassa]

Nyx flinched at the scolding. She deserved every bit of it, to be yelled at, screamed at, hit, hurt, and broken, but she needed her music to live. It didn’t mean that she liked it, but she accepted it with nary but a flinch and a completely too pitiful expression in watery green-blue eyes. From her place on the ground she looked up at the familiar-yet-unfamiliar pretty face and worked her dry, chapped, and cracked lips.

“Y-yeah… Ah c’n walk.” Her legs would probably wobble and she would need something to hold onto, but she could get up there by herself. It occurred to her briefly that she was actually really sweaty at the moment, and the idea of this pretty girl touching her, well, it didn’t appeal. No need to get her grimy and disgusting with Nyx’s dirty, slutty, mutt-sweat. “Dun’.. Ah c’n… Up.”

Tears slipping down her face for no apparent reason anymore, she groaned as she forced herself to sit up. The muscles under her shirt went taut with her exertion, but she eventually managed sit forward enough without the poor girl having to touch her. “Ah got’t. ‘old on…” Clumsily placing her good hand on the ground, she began to get onto uneasy and exhausted legs.

Damn her, running so far.

Nyx wobbled as she got on her feet, and had to catch herself on the wall with her shoulder. “Merlin!”

[Gweneth Carlon]

Yet another sound was made in the back of Gwen's throat as she watched this other girl get to her feet. By now she could tell the other was a Gryffindor- if only because she'd seen the other in classes, what? Maybe a handful of times and could only recognize her house due to the lot she was forced to sit with. It was a vague memory, and perhaps not even right by any account, which was exactly why Gwen wasn't going to jump to any conclusions what-so-ever. Still, the natural stubborn streak that came with being a Gryffindor didn't help ease the blond's mind while watching this painful display.

With a shake of the head, Gwen resituated and set about helping the other to her feet. Granted, she lost control of her wiggly form when the other stumbled, but at least she didn't ram into the wall and was on her feet. "Alright?" she asked, more about her standing situation then how she felt as a whole. After a moment, Gwen bit her lip, then made a vague gesture with her hand. It was apparent that this Gryffindor didn't want to be touched, and that was alright. She'd just have to keep close to make sure she didn't fall over or something. "Lets get you up to the Hospital Wing." Gwen's tone was much gentler now, the concern back on her features. "I'm Gweneth, by the way- Gwen for short." she was always very hasty to inform others of her nick name...apparently even in a situation like this one.

[Nyx M Treassa]

"Ah god'it. 'old on." You know that tremble you get when you've exerted yourself, but it hasn't been long enough for the ache to kick in? Knees positively trembled with that feeling, but Nyx positively wouldn't let herself go down even if the stairs looked daunting. She swallowed a few times and pushed herself off the wall while using it as support. "Righ'. 'ospital wing." The shock was slowly wearing off and the absolute, agonizing pain was starting to dizzy her vision. "Fo'ker..." Nyx hissed. "Th'smarts!" Shaking her head, she ventured forward towards the staircase, wobbling a bit with every step.

In the past Nyx has broken plenty of bones; her nose a few times, her arm falling out of a tree, and her leg falling off her broom, but she could never get used to the pain. Her hand was being held delicately against her torso, but ever little jostle sent a new wave of white agony in her vision. Probably the reason why she didn't realize just yet how pretty Gwen was. She did have a nice voice though, scolding or soothing, her voice was very pretty and Nyx decided to focus on that.

It helped her keep walking, anyway.

"Gwen..." She murmured and bobbed her head idly, deciding on the shorter name for simplicity's sake. No need to embarrass herself trying to properly say the nice, pretty girl's name. "M'name's-" Nyx hesitated, the realization that rumors were already spreading about what she did. She was hesitant to let Gwen know she was nothing but a stupid slut, but she was being so nice... "M'name's Nyx. S'a pleasure teh meet yeh."

[Gweneth Carlon]

"I can imagine..." Gwen replied, her statement obviously meant for the other's mentioning of the pain. She kept close behind the other girl, always just a step behind her to make sure that if she fell backwards (or forwards...side to side, which ever,) she could be there to catch her and make sure she didn't add 'Cracked Skull' to her list of injuries. When she was informed of the others' name, a smile touched her lips and she nodded. "Its nice to meet you too, Nyx." And it was. Gweneth was not the kind to listen to gossip, and even if she had been, she most likely wouldn't have heard any rumors about the Gryffindors anyhow, so Nyx's identity was just another face- a troubled face, but a face regardless, and this seemed perfectly alright with Gwen.

"Now, Nyx...This may be a bit of a personal question, but..." she paused, though continued to follow behind the other girl, worrying her lower lip between her teeth for a moment, "But...can I ask how, and better yet why you've seemed to have shattered the bones in your hand?" she hastened her stride to walk evenly with Nyx, her expression and tone concerned again, "I mean, nothing can be as bad as all of that, can it? Bad enough to hurt yourself in such a way?"

[Nyx M Treassa]

Why did Hogwarts have so many steps? Did it really make sense that the hospital wing was so many floors up? Nyx’ legs were burning by the second landing, but they still had a distance to go. Like the trooper she was, she swallowed her pain and forced herself forward by using the hand railing to heave her body on. It was slow going, though, which meant that Gwen was easily near her this entire time.

Hopefully she was enough of a mutt to get rid of that Veela pheromone thing. Not that she smelled good at the moment… Normally she wouldn’t really care, but she was kind of embarrassed about hurting herself on top of everything else she’d done. Having this Gwen girl forcing herself to be near her when she was dripping with sweat was just, well, it wasn’t good. Nyx cast a wary glance at the girl, uncertain of her pleased tone. Maybe the rumor hadn’t reached as far as she thought?

“Uhm…” The question about her reasoning was taken hesitantly. Understandably, Nyx felt a little guarded with her information after what she had let Sebastion do to her. “I’ve… I’ve done s’m pretty st’pid stuff lay’ly. Feel stupid all th’time… S’just, I goh’ fros’trated with m’self n’… Well, pre’y angry n’ Ah lashed ou’… Guess Ah shoul’na but ah jus’ can’t think ‘bout stuff…” Her already dark expression darkened even more with sadness and disappointment in herself. It was obvious by her body that she was punishing herself, but even that didn’t seem to help.

“M’feelin’ pre’y worthless right now, s’all.”

[Gweneth Carlon]

Gwen made a quizzical sound in the back of her throat in reply. "Must be something pretty heart breaking to deal with if you're running around punching walls." She nodded, more to herself then to emphasize her words any, though that was there as well. She ran through the words again in her head, her forehead wrinkling in thought as she processed them one sentence at a time. "You know, I'm no therapist or expert of any sort, but I think you're beating yourself up for no real good reason." her brow creased and she took a deep breath before continuing, "After all, no one is really worthless, you know. Every person is put here for a reason. Some task meant for them, and only them, and if you have a reason to exist, you can't be worthless, right?'

Slowly the blond's eyes cast upwards towards the ceiling and she made another soft humming sound, "Wow, that sounded really Muggle Religion-y...All I'm trying to say is that no one is worthless. No matter what happens in life, you just have to pick yourself back up, keep your chin held high, and press on. People who abandon you will either come back if they're meant to be with you, or won't, and in that case it's their loss, not your's. Problems that come your way should be faced head on rather then hid from, you shouldn't let them make you cower." Gwen sighed and turned her head to look at the other girl, then bit her lip again, "Sorry...I sound like I'm preaching...I suppose not everyone can always get back up, or has a reason to do as such for that matter. Your problems may be bad enough that you can't find a way up, or a hand to reach out to..." a smile touched her lips, though it didn't quite reach her eyes, "Sorry...I don't mean to judge..."

[Nyx M Treassa]

Nyx turned watery eyes on Gwen, currently very sharp and glittered in her pain. They were a bit puffy and red, but that made the green and blue mix stand out more vibrantly than they normally would regardless. Even the teariness added a new level of interest to them, acting as a constantly moving surface over them. Looking at Gwen, they looked like the saddest puppy-dog eyes in the world, even if it was partially due to pain.

“ ‘ow can Ah keep m’chin up, if Ah’ve done things that ‘urt someone I car abou’h? Ah’m a monsta, yeh’know… Ah can’h fix wot Ah’ve done, no’h in a way I know ‘ow.” They reached the final floor, the big doors of the Hospital wing looming at the other end of the hallway. “Ah’ve done thin’s thah ‘urt every’thin I believed b’fore. All’a this coul’a been avoided,” Teary eyes looked away, feeling guilty and very subhuman at the moment. An elegant Veela, trapped in a Giant’s mind, in a Wizard’s world.

“If Ah’d just been better.”

[Gweneth Carlon]

Slowly Gwen's brows pulled together until they were almost touching, her forehead wrinkling as well as she concentrated on Nyx's face. "A monster." she repeated the words slowly as if digesting them, though she figured the other girl meant them figuratively. "Honestly, I don't see any monster traits at all. I mean sure, you're a bit tall, but if all of the tall people in the world were monsters, we'd be over run by now." The blond nodded to her self wisdom, though cut the gesture short due to the seriousness of the situation. "You'll never fix whatever it is you did wrong if you keep thinking like that, you know." she had allowed her tone to soften, and her eyes were straight forward again.

"The first step in making things right is to know that you can, even if you know it'll take forever for you to do as such." A soft noise left Gwen's lips as they reached the Hospital Wing doors, and here she turned to face Nyx completely. "Whatever it is, I'm sure that you can over come it and make things right. After all, what loved ones of yours wouldn't want to forgive you so they could have you around again?" She offered Nyx a smile, then pushed one of the doors open before gesturing inside. "After you."

[Nyx M Treassa]

If her hand didn't hurt so bad, she might have chuckled at that. But right now it was taking everything she had not to groan with the pain as it jostled slightly against her abdomen. There was no way to keep it completely still at the moment, what with her legs being so exhausted. They were like painful jello molds shaped like legs and stuffed under her torso as some sort of joke. Then again, that's what she got for trying to outrun her problems physically.

"I dunno 'ow." Izzy was so mad at her for kissing Rosier, what could she do to fix that? Nyx supposed she could punch the blonde, but that definitely wasn't her style; even though she was a brute, she didn't go out intending to hurt women and never took a swing. As for Sebastian... Well, how could she fix that? Her virginity was gone, no one could possibly love an idiot like herself...

"Ah ain't so great teh 'ave around..." Nyx shook her head and stepped inside the hospital wing. All it took to get attention was lift her limp and bloody hand for the attending nurse to see. "No'un really needs me." Izzy was strong, she could easily hold this justified anger against her. They'd been friends for so long though, would Izzy drop her, even if she deserved it? The current events certainly would make a very easy out. After that, she fell silent as she was guided to one of the beds and sat down on it like a mindless child.

Nyx glanced hesitantly at Gwen, half hoping she would stay but realizing she'd probably leave. Her job was done, after all. "Thank yeh, so much."

[Gweneth Carlon]

She followed Nyx into the Hospital Wing, fully intent to make sure the other girl was attended to and taken care of right away. It seemed this was easier then expected. All it took was one glance at Nyx's wounds and the Medi-Witch attending Poppy hurried over and set about accessing the damage. For a moment, Gwen thought about leaving the other girl in the good hands of the older Witch, but what had been said, about her not being needed or so great to have around struck a chord with Gwen, and in one stubborn moment she decided this theory needed to be debunked. After all, Nyx didn't seem like a bad person to the blond Hufflepuff at all. A little lost and confused, and obviously seriously hurt, but not at all bad. Perhaps mislead would be the right word to use, and if no one else would help Guide Nyx back to where she needed to be, well Gwen sure as hell was going to try.

"You're welcome." she replied with a friendly smile. Her feet carried her across the room after the other student at the Medi-Witch to a bed that, in Gwen's opinion wasn't needed, but at least Nyx would have a place to sit while she was healed up. Gwen herself took a seat on the bed next to the already occupied one, sat so she was facing the dark haired Gryffindor, though as an after thought, her eyes widened a tad bit and her tone went questionable, "You don't mind if I stay, do you? I want to make sure you're taken real good care of..." Luckily the Medi-Witch had walked away to get the required Potions and Herbs to heal Nyx up, other wise Gwen would have probably earned herself quite the glare...

[Nyx M Treassa]

Ever since her first year the Hospital Wing always made her really uncomfortable. There were so many instruments just laying around, ready to be used. It made her nervous wondering about which ones they planned on using on her, especially the weirder looking ones with a lot of spikes and screws and... Well, they looked like torture devices, and Nyx couldn't help but eye them with an almost childlike anxiety that was very blatant on her tearfully blotchy and bruised face. Green-blue eyes darted at Gwen, both relieved to see her there and nearby, but also extremely embarrassed; what kind of dumbass landed HERSELF into the H Wing? The overly-tall fifth year fidgeted in her spot from pain, embarrassment, and the ever-constant lack of concentration she had.

" Ah.. Er, wot Ah mean teh'say's... Well, I dun' mind." The medi-witch returned almost immediately with a large bowl with a gooey-like substance inside and instantly dunked Nyx's injured hand in it. Not a moment later and the Gryffindor's pain-scrunched face soothed, and her eyes almost glazed over at the sensation of relief. "Thank'yeh.." She murmured quietly. The Medi-witch was already scuttling off to prepare more things for her hand.

"Uhm..." Nyx cleared her throat of the pain that was plaguing her before. "I 'ope I ain't takin' up any of yer time. Classes n'all thah." She looked at the girl fully for the first time, locking gazes with her. Something inside of her quieted, and the wild voice in her head let out a purr, and something clicked like it never had before... Nyx smiled.

"Yeh got some real pretty eyes on yeh..." She complimented absently, completely smitten by the warmth in oceanic blues.